Would You Invest Your Money At Intrigador Financials?

CMBC International

I'm going to make an obvious fictional financial group for illustrative purposes. Let's say that one day, a new financial group opens called the Intrigador Financials. Intrigador means one who likes to look for intrigue. Back in the 2000s, I remember watching ISPUP on ABC-5 during my high school to college days. One of the parodies was called Intrigador--a parody of the Filipino documentary show Imbestigator, which means investigator. I decided to imagine this group because of how social media gossipers make poor financial advisers (read here). Even worse, I'm afraid that more Filipinos are more than willing to listen to social media gossipers instead of the legendary investor, Warren Edward Buffett (read here). Besides, the abundance of play-to-earn scam Google ads even inspired me to write this even further. I hope that Google will ban these ads for good. I decided to even install one of the games to find out for myself. The ad says, "No ads! You earn!" but the game is so plagued with ads that even the gaming is interrupted too often. It's nothing more than a scam where the developers want to suck you into making ad revenue for them. 

Let's say that one day, social media gossipers decided to finally establish their own financial group. These people are just good at looking for intriga. Intrigue can be defined as anything that arouses curiosity, or make secret plans to do something illicit to someone. I think intrigue can be especially linked with gossip. In the Philippines, the Tagalog word intrigador can often be associated with the word chismoso or gossiper. Just reading Facebook comments regarding the stock market's health and the move to open to 100% foreign direct investments (FDIs) are really either irritating or funny. So, let's say these guys decided to open a group. Maybe, they will create a fake Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC) and fake receipts. If they do get an SEC permit (as well as other permits)--it might be through bribery. I can't even imagine if they have the capital to start a group. I'm also reminded of my MBA days when the symposium also mentioned, "Check out for the SEC registration." I even heard that the scam game Axie Infinity isn't registered with the SEC. Either way, let's just imagine that Intrigador Financials does exist.

I could imagine the launching of Intrigador Financials. It might be something similar to how the late Gerald Cotten of the now-defunct Quadriga-CX (read here) operated his company. It's common to see intriga is very common. That's why talk shows tend to be very popular in the Philippines. Comments on Facebook sections are very toxic with their intriga. They may finally decide to take advantage of the bear market, financial illiteracy, and their own stupidity to run the company. They might have a slogan like, "Bear market is unbearable? Invest in your future with Intrigador Financials! Make your PHP 1,000.00 worth a million today!" I could imagine a huge line will finally line up to sign in to join Intrigador Financials. Maybe, Intrigador Financials will put on a very pang-masa (for the masses) image to click with people. People will be given a good seminar at the opening of Intrigador Financials. They may say, "Okay! Let's start off with PHP 1,000.00" Why I used the amount PHP 1,000.00 is because some index funds start off as small as PHP 1,000.00 so people don't have to pay a huge sum to get started. Though, it's advisable to reach at least PHP 8,000.00 minimum then add more (maybe by adding PHP 1,000.00 to PHP 3,000.00 for starters either monthy or quarterly) to get a long-term profit. 

If Intrigador Financials exists as a scam then I can expect them to receive payments through illicit means. One of them is the use of cryptocurrency which I don't trust. One reason why I want to avoid cryptocurrency like sewage water is because of the tendency to be anonymous in financial transactions. It's one thing to earn money under a registered pseudonym (which can be a trading name). It's another thing to transact money anonymously. Cryptocurrency is absolute garbage also due to how volatile it is. If you've seen Cyber Hell: Exposing an Internet Horror--cryptocurrency was widely used by sex predators in South Korea because of its difficulty to trace the transactor. I could imagine that Intrigador Financials will prefer cryptocurrency as their mode of payment. Either they believe cryptocurrency is a feasible form of digital currency or they want to avoid detection. Though, they can also go for back-alley payments instead of stuff like bank transfers where they can be detected.

Though, there's also the possibility that Intrigador Financials may legally register with the government. They will get their SEC registration, they are issuing receipts and the BIR looks at them as a legitimate taxpayers, they have their business permit, and the like. However, not all companies registered with the SEC are doing clean business. Sometimes, it could just be a legal front to hide one's activities. Just remember that the now-defunct Legacy Group of Companies had its SEC permit. Maybe, Intrigador Financials may be run by legitimate financial graduates. Maybe, its founder is a graduate of any accounting or business-related courses. Maybe, one of its trustees has a business management degree from De La Salle University (DLSU) or Ateneo De Manila University (ADMU). I think it would be something that some of its founders are licensed CPAs. Maybe, some of them would have an economics degree from the University of the Philippines (UP). Sounds good, right? Yet impressive credentials don't always translate into accountability and credibility. Sometimes, the worst crooks may have the best grades in school.

I could imagine now with Intrigador Financials having its office, its impressive settings, and one of its key people is a business management graduate from DLSU. This same person from DLSU has been to Vietnam and Singapore. Let's say another founder is a graduate of the London School of Economics. You can have impressive people running it. However, they can either be a group of swindlers, a group of educated but foolish people (such as in the story of The Scholars and the Lion), or a bad combination of both. You walk into their building and you're impressed at all the diplomas they have. I remembered being told back in my college days at the University of San Carlos (USC) that a Carolinian diploma isn't a recipe for instant success--by the professors nonetheless. You get to sit with one of their financial advisers. This financial adviser may be talking about trying to create a moneyless system which he experimented on with selling calamansi based on points. Another may be a licensed engineer who says that 60-40 restrictions are good for the country. 

Now, it's time to get a financial package from Intrigador Financials. Maybe, these are the possible funds you'll get. Just take note that I just imagined these for illustrative purposes so please don't call the cops since Intrigador Financials is just a fictional crime syndicate for illustrative purposes only:

1. Andy Investor Fund--Are the investors' confidence down? This fund will help you survive by navigating investors that are unshaken. We will guarantee you that we will give you confidence higher than the investors in the market. You can survive the stock market crash by outperforming it in just a month or two.
2. Axie Infinity Fund--This fund is dedicated to trying to make your money work based on the hit game. Expert players of Axie Infinity will turn your PHP 1,000.00 into money. The money will be spent to buy Axies and Smooth Love Potions (SLPs) for investment. In no time, you will make money in this bear market faster than the stock market recovers. You can forget about AXA (which is robbery in broad daylight) and buy this fund instead.
3. Calamansi Points Fund--Do you want to survive stagflation? Invest your money in exchange for calamansi trading. Our experts will turn your PHP 1,000.00 or more into a points system that will guarantee high returns during stagflation. 
4. Cryptocurrency Fund--Want to get rich fast? The crypto hype will be managed by our best cryptocurrency experts. We can make your money rise faster than it falls. 
5. Gambler's Fund--This fund is managed by expert gamblers. This will make gambling better than investing. Our expert gamblers will go to the casino, bet the money, buy the guaranteed winning lottery number, and make sure you get more than you deserve.
6. Indian Five-Six Fund--Want to earn PHP 6.00 for every PHP 5.00? Try this new package. Your money will be used to fund Indian five-six lenders. This fund is managed by the Indian five-six lenders who will make sure you get the best of your value. 
7. Starry Stock Fund--Is the stock market in a crash? This fund only buys stocks during a bull market and sells them off when it's a bear market. You can expect your money back at a big return when the bear market strikes.

However, these are too good to be true, right (read here)? Yet, Intrigador Financials will say, "We're not scammers. Trust me, bro!" Obviously, a scammer will never admit to being a scammer. It's like how a swindler can lie about the quality of their products. They will spread gossip against economic liberalization because they want more gullible people to get scammed. They may try to hold a symposium called, "100% FDI: The Philippines' Loss of Sovereignty" while hypocritically using MACPros and the like. They may be using Zoom to do it online since the COVID-19 pandemic will limit physical presence. They will probably bully and heckle people as some of its founders have "elite degrees". It reminds me of how Philippine Senator Robin Padilla got a lot of Ad Hominem attacks from such people (read here).

If this group ever existed, I'd simply have to reject them as another scam. I could trust AXA with my money because of their long-standing record. I decided to buy ATRAM funds via GCash because the company has a long-standing record. If these guys will ever exist--I can never give my recommendations to invest. They'll probably just run away with the money. Worse case scenario is Intrigador Financials will go bankrupt due to their mishandling of other people's money.