...the belief that people should maintain a positive mindset no matter how dire or difficult a situation is. While there are benefits to being optimistic and engaging in positive thinking, toxic positivity rejects all difficult emotions in favor of a cheerful and often falsely positive façade.
Every time I talk about Christmas foolishness (read here), it's always pointed out that I love being negative. Honestly, there are times I'd rather be negative than to be overly positive. I always talk about mentioning the silly notions that my countrymen have like, "If the situation is bitter, just add sugar (read here)." In Cebuano, it's said, "Kung pait, butangi lang ug asukar." I hate hearing that statement and throw tantrums whenever I hear that statement. Christmas is a stressful time of the year. It doesn't help with prolonged traffic, malls getting jam-packed with last-minute Christmas shopping, and the toxic positive crowd. It's a good thing that I didn't have that crazy helper of ours when Odette struck Cebu! Otherwise, that crazy helper's toxic positivity would've driven me nuts all the more!
Some Christmas music spreads toxic positivity instead of positivity. It's one thing to think about Christmas with the increase in revenues for companies and bonuses for workers. Meanwhile, to think of Christmas as a time of the year when the "world is in harmony" (do check the news and notice Christmas time conflicts do happen) and "surely nothing can go wrong on Christmas" is another. It doesn't help whenever somebody dares to sing me the late Andy Williams' song "It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year" or Backstreet Boys' "Christmas Time" on my face. Honestly, I wish those songs were true but they aren't. Such silly mentalities should be considered forms of opium for the masses.
In toxicology, it's the dose that makes the toxin. Positivity is good but excess positivity isn't. As my old late English teacher would warn me, "Anything good in excess is bad for your health." The same goes for how people who have an overdose of recreation. Singapore is a festive place. Malaysia is a festive place. I believe the problem with the Philippines isn't the existence of feasting. It's the problem that many Filipinos are obsessed with feasting. The reason why narcotics are harmful is because they contain an excess of things that should be used in moderation. Did you know that shabu actually contains excess ingredients that are used in over-the-counter medication? Both ephedrine and pseudoephedrine are used for medication. However, shabu contains them excessively to the point of being harmful.
In the quest for good vibes only, I've observed the trend. In Cebuano, there's the statement, "Sa December, lipay-lipay. Sa January likay-likay." In English, it means, "You enjoy much in December, but you keep avoiding in January." It's because people celebrate beyond their means. It can also be attributed to the one-day paycheck. Some people may not want to wait for the bonus because they can't wait to have extra money. What's the use of having the bonus if you can't learn to budget the money (read here)? Take for example that people would rather go have a good time than budget the paycheck on their necessities. I bet such people are among those who are screaming, "Sahod itaas! Presyo ibaba!" on the roads daily. Please, the idea of higher salaries with lower prices of goods is plain bad accounting! Salaries help contribute to the overall increase of goods and services!
Growing up, I've observed how some people have extravagant Christmas parties when they can't afford it. Even worse, one can think of the traditional Filipino Noche Buena with high amounts of fats and sweets. I have nothing against having company Christmas parties or family Christmas parties. However, it can become a problem when Christmas parties become excessive. Why hire a band when you can't hire a band? Why invite the whole neighborhood when you can't feed the whole neighborhood? Some people have excessive celebrations while they borrow tons of money for it. It seems that their Christmas Party isn't Christmas without tons of fats and sugars. I even feel lechon has become mandatory for the noche buena. It seems like, "It isn't a Christmas Party without lechon!" It may even involve drunkenness and loud music. Some may even hire a band even when they can only pay on credit or pay using money from a loan.
I can imagine checking finances and it can be downright funny and cringy. One may be saying, "Good vibes only!" or "Bitter? Let's just add sugar!" Overspent salary and Christmas bonus? No problem! Let's just borrow money!" The mentality of "good vibes only" means to avoid sorrow rather than confront it. Of course, we need to learn when not to swallow the bitter. Enduring an unreasonable work environment or an unreasonable boss is time to spit out the bitterness. However, one must get a reasonable source of income and endure all possibilities of doing so. It's a necessary bitterness to check one's bills and settle them. One could look at the paycheck and start paying the bills, allocate some money for investment (ex. invest in an index fund), and even forego blowouts with one's peers. One might even want to say, "Not now. We need to save the money so we can enjoy it later." However, for some, their "good vibes only"mentality is why they're practically buried in debt.
It's necessary to check on this. Am I positive or toxic positive? Am I rightfully negative or am I overly negative? We need both positive and negative to operate. A battery needs both a positive end and a negative end. Whether we want to admit it or not, without negative energy, we wouldn't have electricity. Protons have a positive charge and electrons have a negative charge. We need both negative forces and positive forces in our life. It's all about striking a balance. To achieve better finances, be like the atom in balance, not the atom out of balance.